Am I in the zone yet?
The Zone Diet has spawned countless imitations, spin-offs and adaptations, such as the ubiquitous Hate-free Zones, Drug-free Zones, and Nuclear-free Zones that have become de rigeur - dare I say, passé - in the more "enlightened" geographical regions of the USA (namely, the lovely but spiritually-impoverished West Coast). As a happily transplanted New Yorker, then, I'm pleased to learn that closer to home, yet one more ground-breaking Zone wanna-be has materialized, with the recent announcement that a NJ Town Considers "Pedophile-Free" Zone.
Let's hope this tough legislation sends the right message, and that the targets of all such Zones - including Jennifer Aniston and her ilk - will now think twice about moving to New Jersey, and perhaps the entire Tri-State Area, if God loves the righteous.
Naturally, news of the P-FZ's cropping up all over the Garden State like mushrooms on a shitlog led me to wonder "Why did it take so long for society to recognize the pressing need for a pedophile-free zone?" Although, I didn't go so far as to ask "Why couldn't I have grown up in New Jersey?," because, frankly, that's a tough call.
And I bet you thought this was going to be a funny post, like the last one. But see, now I'm trying not to bore my analyst.
posted at 11:12 PM
4 Comments:
Is there a Zone-Diet-free Zone?
So the controversy of the law is a) that pedophiles can't live near a school, playground or park and b) they will open loads more schools, playgrounds and parks for children to make the town pedophile-free. So far doesn's sound like a bad plan to me?
So will they have to close the Catholic Church?
Karma: the plan is indeed well-intentioned. However, these questions remain:
1) why is a special Pf-Z designation necessary, when in theory we should all be living in one at all times?
2) will it achieve anything other than some catchy new signs posted on telephone poles and people's front lawns?
3) if the theoretical Pf-Z's we live in never had any effect (see the end of my post for the relevant darkly-poignant veiled reference), will actual Pf-Z's really be any more effective?
Kurt: God's Rottweiler will make everything o.k.
J-fuzz: Red Cross Nurse advises you to stop grading, focus all your remaining critical attention on Cletus, and stand up for cleanliness, STAT!
I've never herd of such a thing...pedophile free zone....of course I'm from the mid-west...people I don't think even say petiphile......although our local news station....FOX 4, whatever......did do a "ground-breaking" story....which included an actual reporter going to petiphile houses and bumrushing them at there front door asking them "why they wern't registered?" with a camera right in there face....so maybe the midwest is catching a little bit of this ZONE Feaver.....lets hope so...
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