I have found that this is easily achieved by any number of simple methods. The key is to complicate straightforward situations and recite them ad nauseum, or conversely, to dwell for short but intense periods on complex matters that can never be addressed through simplified reasoning, and/or as articulated by you ("the analysand").
One surefire strategy is holding forth for 45 minutes* on such situations as the following,** either building your rant around a single "issue," or any combination thereof. Be creative: the only things stopping you are those early withdrawal penalties, and that last remaining shred of diginity!
(The list below is provided by the author solely for example. Any resemblance to real issues, situations, or traumas resolved or outstanding in the reader's life is the result of "unconscious" projective identification, because nothing is unintentional.)Childhood Traumas First time I saw parents having intercourse (and why I was glad this was not with each other) Rectal thermometer humiliation, ages 3-6 Enemas I do not remember but am sure were administered Side effects of masturbation, imagined and perceived Precocious development: 78% nerd by age 12 Abnormal development: sadomasochistic fantasies on the playground Running away and what to bring: Holly Hobby™ sleeping bag, favorite books, & alarm clock so I won't be late for school Why did all my 'friends' in junior high pick on me? (and why am I still talking about it?) Why didn't my dad love spending the weekend with me as much as he loved spending a weekend in Las Vegas? Am I remembering it, did I dream it, or am I lying?Bonus public humiliation topic: Buying clothing in the "chubbette" section at J.C. PenneyAdult conundrums If I don't know I'm making mistakes, how can I be expected to learn from them? Why are all the men I date the same? (each being, in his own special way, a species of seductive, lovable, and emotionally corrupt bastard) Why do the men who love me, love me because they know from the start that I'll be such a good friend? Years of my life I have wasted (tally may change weekly) Dissertation: Year 0 Sadomasochistic modalities of interpersonal relations: origins and outcomes Ticking clocks vs. digital technology and the illusion of time, and also Why 35 is the new 25 (and therefore 36-40 is the new '30 and under') Living alone with the same cat for 15 years: pros and cons Will you be my daddy? Am I remembering it, did I dream it, or did I see it on TV? Bonus public humiliation topic: my blog, or "letting it all hang out"Good Luck Everybody!*In NYC, this is defined as a 'therapeutic hour.'
** All situations, obsessions, and traumas are actually, almost actually, or believed to be, true.
5 Comments:
Lisa, this is your best post ever. So much range, so much "humor." This is why I love/hate you so much!
Yes I'll be your daddy, but remember: no one will ever love you as much as your daddy didn't.
A thought: Is the therapist working out his "helping" issues at the same time as you are boring him to tears? Who is the real sicko?
Kurt, thank you for your support. Please note that "Will you be my daddy?" is directed only at my therapist. I do not wish you or anyone else but him to be my daddy (or even to pretend); nobody else could give me the unconditional love and acceptance that he can, but won't (just like my real dad!).
As part of my newest hobby, I will be posting the Opera browser Google ad links that are prompted by your blog:
1. Poop it all Out - oxypowder.com
The top-quality colon cleanser
2. Passover at Talia's, NYC
Kosher for Passover restaurant
I, for one, am glad you experienced all of these events because it made the posting fabulous. The blog would have been boring had you not had these life experiences so see it was all worth it. Otherwise we would come here every day and just be looking at pictures of Alice.
Cats can't type.
Post a Comment
<< Home