One more reason ... (that I am no longer dating)

After several spins around the internet dating duty-wheel, I’ve had it (c.f. posts of 5/31, 6/1). However, partly out of not-quite-extinguished hope, but mostly out of total apathy and my increasingly phlegmatic attitude toward everything, I have left a long trail of discarded profiles across the internets - like the searing afterburn of a rocket booster, or a fatty meal on a bad date.

Occasionally, I get a shout-out from someone who comes across one of these obsolete (and impotent) efforts at pimping myself for love, i.e. "weight: 125 lbs"; "interests: crime-scene photography, Ptolemaic physics, and the elderly (they are such an under-appreciated resource, don't you think?)." Every one of these calls from beyond the dating grave serves as a healthy reminder of what I’m not missing. To prove my point, here are the highlights of the most recent:

Celebrity I resemble most
I don't look like much of anybody … but I've been on C-SPAN to talk about my blog.

I do not know whether I should curse Em and Lo for coming up with this question or thank them for their incredible intuition that - in the right people - it would elicit a most terrible truth.

Song or album that puts me in the mood
Brian Eno's Music for Airports and anything by Steve Reich.

Great. I like these composers too. I’d even go so far as to say that Music for Airports (even the Dune soundtrack), Music for Pieces of Wood, and all such music sonic experiences would definitely put me in the mood for anything that involves being 16, getting "totally baked," and then watching the lights move on someone's graphic equalizer for the next 3-5 hours. In this scenario, I'm not sure what else would qualify as "in the mood." Maybe I'm missing something?

More about Me
I run a spiffy website which has been written up in Time Out NY, the Village Voice, and the NY Times Book Review (and, as previously mentioned, got me on C-SPAN). And I'm good with cats.

Come on - we all know that blogs are the pet projects of failed "real-worlders," the fashion-challenged, and the chronically lonely. I don't see how publicizing this sad fact about yourself in print, television, and/or electronic media could ever change, or even slightly ameliorate, your sorry state. In fact, the very though of it makes me embarrassed for the both of us. But the cats thing – always a plus.

The five items I can't live without
All I can really think of is my laptop. Well, maybe the full size, 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary I share with my wife.

Now you’re just bragging. Wait a minute …

MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR
I'm married, but I get along best of all with women (with gay men trailing not far behind). Mind you, "play" is an option, but it depends on whether my wife takes an interest in you as well.

Um.
I have no idea how to respond to this, other than to put it in my blog (see above), and recognize yet another sign that I've made the right choice (for me).


Post Script: To add insult to injury, in his note to me this self-confessed blogger insisted upfront that he was only interested in friendship. A gay man once told me that I would "make a great gay man" (I quote verbatim). Whether or not this was actually a compliment, it does cause me to wonder: if I were a gay man now, would "play" be more or less of an option?