Bloygevalt: February 2006

Top 10 oral/anal-stage fetishes of 2006 (to date)

FY 06: prognosis positive

10. Anything mochi with a Metamucil® chaser (a perennial favorite)
9. The new and improved Crest Spinbrush ™
8. Brushing my teeth very slowly, as if being watched
7. Sending risqué Gmail invitations to all those who thought they forgot me
6. Volvelles
5. Auto-erotic asphyxiation with San-X plushies
4. Katamari Damacy
3. Eating only half the box of macaroni and cheese
2. People with GERD
1. Covering my nakedness with [your choice of] antacid tablets

V (is also) for Victory

Just in time for my least favorite "holiday" of the year, my ceaseless public kvetching, broken resolutions to swear off dating, and routinely self-humiliating posts about ill-thought pick-ups and unfortunate trysts have finally paid off. My signature pathological hoarding instincts and well-documented tchotchke problem are now signs of a life lived creatively, with imagination and gusto. "Too many fountain pens" is an entirely alien concept. The excessive shedding of body hair is no longer a deal-breaker. I am 99% sure that this is going somewhere because it's been nearly three days and I still haven't mentioned my porn story.

After years and years of wrestling with the problem every girl faces, it finally happened. But who knew it could happen to me?

The All-Star Celebrity Family Challenge

My co-worker, The IT Guy, has suggested that I post The All-Star Celebrity Family Challenge. For each family member pictured above, pick and choose a candidate from the celebrities below, or write in your own! The person judged by me and TITG to have concocted the most interesting family tree probably wins something, although I haven't been told what. Perhaps fame and notoriety among your peers?

Clockwise, from left: 1. Dad, 2. Mom, 3. Older Brother/Uncle, 4. Grandma, 5. Uncle, 6. Teenage Brother, 7. Baby Brother, 8. Sister, 9. Grandpa, 10. Grandma. Or, use your imagination!